Shopping for your tween’s first bra is a milestone moment that can feel exciting and/or a little nerve-wracking—for both of you! While you're finding the words to broach the topic (and we’ll help you there), take a minute to pulse-check your own mindset.
Are you ready to make bra shopping a positive, supportive and fun experience? It can be hard to do, especially if this is your first time… but navigating this new chapter of growing up together doesn’t need to be challenging or loaded with old lady bras in boring colours. All you need is a tape measure, open ears and a little bit of patience - this is going to be fun, we promise!
Is there a “right” time to buy a first bra?
No. Because every boob and boob owner is different, there are no hard and fast rules about when you should bring up bra shopping (if your tween hasn’t already). That said, the internet is full of parents who have been in a similar situations, so we’ve compiled a list of signs to help you know when it’s time to start talking breasts and bras:
Physical development
It sounds obvious, but if your young teen’s chest is starting to change (think breast buds, breast growth or darker nipples), it may be time to gauge how they’re feeling about it all. Is she feeling self conscious? Has she been feeling uncomfortable?
Becoming boob-conscious in the changeroom
Some schools require students to wear a dedicated sport uniform for PE, making communal change areas an almost daily thing. No one wants to strip off half-naked in front of their friends, frenemies and enemies, so training bras or beginner bras will help your tween or young teen make the switch without any giggling.
She’s mentioned bras a few times
Kids have minds of their own, so if your tween or young teen has already touched on the topic or shown an interest, she’s probably ready to have the bra talk.
Her friends are wearing bras or crops
If her friends are already there, it may be worth checking in and asking if she’s interested.
She needs more support during PE
Boobs bounce. You know it, we know it, and anyone from a J cup down to an A cup knows it. After you measure her bust (or she measures it with the help of our awesome fit guide), cross-reference her sporting needs with the support her cup requires below:
What is the best bra for beginners?
First bras come in a variety of styles, often called training bras due their soft, wirefree construction. In addition to offering gentle to moderate support, training bras ease tweens and young teens into wearing a bra everyday, although some girls may only wear bras on certain occasions (which is totally okay).
Good bras for tweens and young teens include:
|
|
|
|
|
These bras provide moderate support and keep things comfortable during physical sport. The flexible cups make it a forgiving fit, keeping up with breast changes. |
Soft, lightweight, and stretchy, these are perfect for tweens who are just starting to develop. They offer a little coverage without much structure. |
For tweens who are further along in their development or feel self-conscious about their changing shape, lightly padded bras provide extra coverage and confidence. |
|
8A - 22H |
XS-3XL |
XS-3XL |
What about age? Are there good bras for 12 year old girls?
It doesn’t matter how young or old your young teen is… her cup and band size will determine the degree of support she needs. Most parents opt for a crop the first time around, but a soft, unstructured design won’t always be the right choice for a C cup. That’s why we love wireless bras and supportive bralettes so much!
Having the bra shopping conversation
Before you start shopping online and adding everything to cart with well meaning enthusiasm, it’s important to have a conversation with your tween. Wait until she’s had a great day (and you’re chipper too) and try a few of these lines to get the ball rolling:
-
The ice-breaker: What do you think about getting a bra?
-
Share your own experience… but keep it short!
-
Offer options: We can start small with something like a wireless bra or a comfy crop top and see how you like it.
-
Bring the fun: Would you prefer something simple or maybe a fun color or print?
-
Be sensitive: If you’re not ready yet, that’s okay. We can talk about it whenever you feel ready.
-
Give her control*: If you want, I can buy you a gift card and after we take your measurements, you can buy a few that catch your eye.
*If you’re happy to go this route, make sure the brands you choose have an easy returns policy. If you choose Nala, we have a 30 day Money Back Guarantee on the cost of all products you order, meaning we’ll exchange or refund all orders within 30 days of their delivery to you. Head to our Returns page for all Ts and Cs.
How to buy a training bra that she’ll love
Luckily, first bra shopping has moved online, so there’s no need to dive into a department store and smile grimly as a fitter snaps a measuring tape around your young teen… but you do need a game-plan. And here it is!
Preparation!
-
Talk to your tween about what to expect and why wearing a bra might feel more comfortable.
-
Set a budget and get a feel for her likes and dislikes, such as style, color, and fabric.
-
Show her some boobs - no, really. Normalising breasts as a non-sexual body part will do wonders in reducing any shame or embarrassment she may be feeling, particularly when it comes time to measure. Not keen to strip off yourself? We’ve done the hard work already and sourced a huge range of boob sizes and shapes.
Make comfort the priority
-
First bras don’t need underwires or complicated designs. Look for soft, breathable fabrics (like our Bio Butter or Better Than Cotton ranges) with adjustable straps and bands for the best fit.
-
Check for tags or seams that might irritate sensitive skin. If you’re not sure, send an email! At Nala, we’re always here to answer your questions - we want all of our customers to be happy from the moment they open the box and put on our bras.
Get the right fit
A properly fitted bra makes a huge difference! Crack out a soft measuring tape and ask your tween to stand still and follow these bra measuring instructions:
Finding band size: Wrap the tape around her underbust and measure where the band sits. It shouldn’t be loose and lazy, but firm and parallel to the ground. Between sizes? Round down to the nearest even number to find the right band size.
Finding your bust size - Move the measuring tape to the fullest part of their bustline, but don’t squish the chest area. Ideally, the tape should sit flush and neat on their boobs. On the cusp of two cups? Round up to the bigger of the pair. Need a little more help than a quick and dirty guide? We’ve got you covered.
Don’t make it beige
Colour is a big deal. While black, white and nude definitely have their place (long may they fill drawers everywhere), colours are an opportunity for her to experiment with styling. Bold blues, pretty pinks or gorgeous greens may be her thing… or she could even try mesh bras for a fun take on fabrics. Bras aren't just a piece of fabric, they're an extension of our overall style… so bring a little flavour to the table.
How to navigate tricky roadblocks
Even with careful preparation and (attempted) conversation, first-bra shopping can come with a few bumps. Here’s how to address them:
-
Shyness or Embarrassment: If your tween feels uncomfortable, reassure them that it’s a normal part of growing up.
-
Fit Frustrations: It can take time to find the right size and style. Be patient and remind your tween that everyone’s body is different. Return policies are here for a reason!
-
Reluctance: If your tween isn’t ready, don’t push. Introduce the idea gradually and revisit the conversation later.
-
She wants to do it by herself/with her friends: Let her, but insist on measuring first at home and giving her a pre-approved budget and who's paying for what.
Caring for a first bra
Teaching your tween how to care for their bras is a great way to instill good habits early. Here are some quick tips:
-
Washing: Hand wash bras in cold water or use a laundry bag for the machine’s delicate cycle.
-
Drying: Air dry bras to maintain their shape and elasticity.
-
Storage: Show them how to fold and store bras properly to keep them in good condition.
Need more information? Check out our bra care guide (link to how to wash your bra blog once live).
The bottom line: The best beginner bra is…
…the one she’s most comfortable in. The one that makes her feel good and lights her up when she tries it on. She’ll find it, and you’ll be there by her side, helping her discover why comfort is just as important as support!